There are many times when I struggle with knowing if God is speaking to me clearly, or if I am just imagining it. You know, you think you are doing the right thing, but is it really the right thing in God's eyes? Or you think God is telling you something, but is it just your own wants and desires or your imagination getting in the way? It's kind of an abstract thought, but I'm sure most of you understand what I'm talking about. I really savor those times when God chooses to make His will and His presence clearly known. I'm sure if I would just be still and listen more often this would happen more frequently.
Well, a couple of nights ago He did just that. Don't get me wrong, I am generally happy and very content with my life just as it is right now; however, there are times (and this night was one of them) when I wish for things that I just do not have. I realize that it is very selfish of me to let my wants and desires get in the way of God's timing and plan for my life, but I guess I can just chalk it up to human nature (and that freakin' Satan guy...I'd like to tell him where to go sometimes!).
Anyway, I was driving home from work, and I was just overwhelmed. I began to pray that I would just be content with the Lord and where He is leading me in life at this moment. That He would be enough for me. I was basically sobbing because I have been somewhat unhappy lately. I have been wanting things and people in my life that I just do not have right now. So, as I was praying, I decided to turn up the radio. I've been listening to KLove, which is a great national Christian radio station, a lot lately. Right when I turned it up a new song had just come on that I had never heard before. It was like every single word was spoken directly to me. It answered every specific thing I was praying for. It is called "By Your Side" by Tenth Avenue North. I'll put the lyrics at the end of the post for anyone who hasn't heard it. This song came out in May, so it's been on the radio numerous times, but amazingly that was my first time to ever hear it.
OK, that was pretty cool, but it wasn't the end. I got home, immediately downloaded that song to my iTunes, cleaned up the house a little and decided to hit the sack early. I got in bed and began to read my devotional for the day. Of course, it totally did the same thing. It was all about being content with the Lord, as were the verses that came along with it. Thanks, God! That was 2 answers to one prayer!
THEN, (as if 2 answers were not enough) after I had been asleep for about 2 hours, I woke up to a text from a friend. This is not unusual, but this friend is usually texting about a meeting, plans for the weeknd, etc. This time it was a bible verse. First time I have gotten a bible verse as a text from a friend. Just randomly. It read: "Just wait upon God and be grounded in Him." Isaiah 50:10-11.
Needless to say, God spoke clearly to me that night. I think he might want me to be happy and content. So I will be! And my wants can wait until they are His desires for me as well.
By Your Side - Tenth Avenue North
Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life
Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go
8 years ago